Obsessing – can I quit? What IS self control?

If you have read any of my blogs, you may realize I have obsessed about losing weight. I have never been obese, but was always one of those obnoxious, natural “skinny people”  until age 50. So the extra 10-15# I’ve been carrying around the last 10 years has really bugged me,

On the positive side, it has given me empathy for people who have had to struggle in this area their entire lives and made me less judgmental.

I am a binger. My husband thinks I can’t even pronounce the word m-o-d-e-r-a-t-I-o-n. He may be right. All or nothing is easier for me than moderation or in other words, SELF CONTROL.

As I have prayed about how to “fix” this problem, I’ve had to confront that weight is not the problem but this whole area of self-control. Weird how a “control freak” can lack self control, but it’s true!

So what is self control? Currently my answer to that question is:

* a fruit of the Holy Spirit
* a choice
* a real commitment

It affects every area of my life – physical, mental, communications (which translates into my relationships) and certainly spiritual.

As a person with control issues, I like to write things down, cross them off and get a rush from having accomplished something. I don’t think a life that is submitted to the Holy Spirit can be defined that way.

In my experience He doesn’t follow “formulas” or operate based on techniques to accomplish the Father’s will. It’s so much subtler than that. Perhaps because every person is unique and prized by Him, every situation calls for unique solutions. Yes, principles remain constant, but how we apply those principles; with what kind of heart and motive makes all the difference.

What if I viewed myself and my “problems” from His point of view rather than my own? Could or would that change my behavior? It’s difficult to be objective about oneself. Maybe I wouldn’t be as hard on myself or allow myself to rationalize quite as easily if I took on this other point of view…

This blog has gone in a completely different direction from when I started, but if this makes sense to anyone else, please comment and let’s see if we can learn something and help each other out.

To be continued…