Obsessing – can I quit? What IS self control?

If you have read any of my blogs, you may realize I have obsessed about losing weight. I have never been obese, but was always one of those obnoxious, natural “skinny people”  until age 50. So the extra 10-15# I’ve been carrying around the last 10 years has really bugged me,

On the positive side, it has given me empathy for people who have had to struggle in this area their entire lives and made me less judgmental.

I am a binger. My husband thinks I can’t even pronounce the word m-o-d-e-r-a-t-I-o-n. He may be right. All or nothing is easier for me than moderation or in other words, SELF CONTROL.

As I have prayed about how to “fix” this problem, I’ve had to confront that weight is not the problem but this whole area of self-control. Weird how a “control freak” can lack self control, but it’s true!

So what is self control? Currently my answer to that question is:

* a fruit of the Holy Spirit
* a choice
* a real commitment

It affects every area of my life – physical, mental, communications (which translates into my relationships) and certainly spiritual.

As a person with control issues, I like to write things down, cross them off and get a rush from having accomplished something. I don’t think a life that is submitted to the Holy Spirit can be defined that way.

In my experience He doesn’t follow “formulas” or operate based on techniques to accomplish the Father’s will. It’s so much subtler than that. Perhaps because every person is unique and prized by Him, every situation calls for unique solutions. Yes, principles remain constant, but how we apply those principles; with what kind of heart and motive makes all the difference.

What if I viewed myself and my “problems” from His point of view rather than my own? Could or would that change my behavior? It’s difficult to be objective about oneself. Maybe I wouldn’t be as hard on myself or allow myself to rationalize quite as easily if I took on this other point of view…

This blog has gone in a completely different direction from when I started, but if this makes sense to anyone else, please comment and let’s see if we can learn something and help each other out.

To be continued…


3 thoughts on “Obsessing – can I quit? What IS self control?”

  1. Hello Kelly,

    I have known you for several years and I have never understood your weight obsession. Granted I don’t see you very often but I don’t see you ever having a weight problem. I agree that weight has something to do with our spiritual life. Self control is another very important part of our spiritual life. Our relationship with God should focus on how He sees us and not how we see ourselves. That’s easier said than done. After all, I see me from the inside out. Everyone every born sees themselves that way. We need to learn to see us as God’s sees us just like you said in your blog. If we saw ourselves the way He sees us I think a lot of our self control issues would fade in the light of His glory and grace. We are made in His image but we don’t know what that image is if we don’t know who He is. It should be get to know God, get to know me. That’s the way it would be if we did things the way God wants us to. It’s time we started doing just that. Most of our troubles are self inflected. God’s are not self inflected. Looking at it that way we could save ourselves a lot of heart aches. Not just for ourselves but those we love. When we cause problems it rarely affects just us. It affects our who environment. It’s good to know you have come to terms with that.
    Love you much dear sister in Christ,

    1. Yes! Taking time to see ourselves from God’s point of view takes intentionality. It is NOT our habit as you mentioned
      For the last few days I’ve have been doing my best to slow down and try to see myself and others as God sees us.
      I’ve observed a few things from doing this.

      1.I have to stop, focus and listen in order to do it.

      2.This opens me up to His love – I miss this very valuable and healing experience when I never take time to slow down to listen.

      3.Feeling His love and acceptance for me “just the way I am” is a huge stress reliever and filled me with a peace I didn’t realize I was missing.

      4.It has helped me see people not just as physical but almost in a 3-D kind of way as a being with spirit, soul and body. This isn’t automatic but only when I stop, close my eyes and imagine them as a 3 dimensional person. Again, at this point it’s way out of my normal observations.

      5.The more I feel loved and accepted, the more I am able to extend that to others and I DO see myself differently!

      Very basic stuff. Knowing it though is completely different than HAVING THE EXPERIENCE.
      Since self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, the more of the Holy Spirit I allow “in”, the more self-control manifests.

      Any other thoughts?

      1. I do believe that God is moving in the direction for the Body Of Christ to know Him like never before. I think we need more of know Him and more of knowing who we are in Him and His authority for such a time as this. Enjoy your trip. I will be praying.
        God Bless.

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